So you’ve reached a point where you’re ready to enter into a committed relationship, huh? That’s great! In this article we’re going to look at seven great options for meeting that special someone.
The thing about finding someone for a long term relationship is that it isn’t as simple as some like to think. You don’t just go on that first date and go “this will be long term.” It’s not like that, always not. You can’t tell a woman if she likes you on a first date, you have to put more effort to attract women before the relationship comes in.
Sometimes you meet up for a hookup and get married three years later. Other times, you expected a relationship and things fizzled out by the second date.
Humans are complex and so are both dating and relationships. So trying to control them is setting yourself up for failure. Instead, I’m going to give you a list of options for you to find someone you’re more likely to end up dating in the long term.
Seven places you’re more likely to find that long term relationship
If you’re wondering what the difference is with this list, it’s basically about the types of people these places attract. For example, think about the people that attend a frat party vs. an art class. If you had to pick one, which would you think is most likely to have you meet someone special?
It’s not that it’s impossible at a frat party, but you know as well as I do that’s where people want a hookup.
If raging parties are your thing, you do you. If you want to help your chances of ending up in a relationship though, you might want to change it up from time to time. Relationships are worth the effort.
Dating apps and websites
Look, it’s 2023 okay. I couldn’t write an article about where to find a date without talking about the online options.
Since there are so many options to choose from (and so many scam sites!) let the pros do the legwork for you. Do your research, read some dating app and dating website reviews and pick a couple that seem suitable.
If I had to pick a single site to recommend for relationships, it’d be eHarmony, hands down. That said, have a look around and see what works for you — everyone is different. They’ve also consistently been one of the top rated dating apps according to Beyondages.
Whichever option you end up choosing, remember to be upfront about what you’re searching for. If you put anyone off by saying you want a relationship, chances are it’s because they don’t want a relationship. Better to push them away now than on date three.
Meetup
Meetup is a great option that far too many people in our age bracket rarely think about when it comes to this kind of thing.
The whole point of the site is to facilitate meetups, in case the name didn’t give it away. That means you can put yourself out there, try something new and meet a bunch of like-minded people easily.
Maybe you’ve always wanted to join a beach volleyball team but don’t know where to find people. Meetup is one of the easiest ways you can do that. Join the group on meetup.com, head along to their next event and enjoy the experience.
This is going to put you in front of a bunch of new people while also doing something fun. Since many of the options on that site involve mixed groups, your preferences are covered regardless.
What I like about this option is the fact that you never have to actually “approach.” You show up to play the game and naturally get to know people that way. It’s a steady approach that actually has nothing to do with dating at all. . . until it does.
Coffee shops
These days, it’s totally normal to hang out for hours in a coffee shop by yourself. It could just be some downtime from your busy day or maybe you’re catching up on emails.
Either way, the best coffee shops tend to offer a very chill “community” kind of vibe. This makes for a bunch of friendly, happy and relaxed people just chilling out and doing their thing. One thing’s for sure, with all that caffeine floating about, there’s no shortage of energy in the place!
Wondering how to approach in a coffee shop though? Just go and say hi. Honestly, it’s not about pickup lines here (hint: it never is. They need to die.), just start a very casual conversation and make sure they aren’t busy.
If he/she is there to zone out and work on an assignment, a conversation could get frustrating, so be sure to check. Otherwise though, go right ahead. You’d be surprised how many people are down for some easy conversation while they enjoy their coffee.
If the two of you hit it off, there’s a whole city for you to go explore together afterwards. At the very least, exchange phone numbers and do your thing after that.
Classy bars
You might find love in your local dive bar but again, the likelihood is pretty low. Rather than putting yourself through that, think more along the lines of a cocktail bar.
The higher price tag keeps some of the riff raff away and the vibe is always very different in a place like this.
Better yet, the types of people who hang out here tend to share some similarities. They’re there to appreciate the atmosphere and cocktails and aren’t opposed to meeting new people.
My advice? Dress well, feel good about yourself and go there to enjoy the experience. If you happen to see someone who catches your eye, go introduce yourself. If they’re drinking something that looks interesting, ask what it is and if they’d recommend it.
More often than not, that’s all you need to get a conversation started. We’re all inherently social creatures, so initiating a conversation in a place like this really isn’t a lot of work.
Local events
A quick Google search for your city’s event calendar will show you just how much is happening around you. I just did a quick search for “san francisco events” and immediately found Eventbrite and ResidentAdvisor lists of upcoming events. Less than 2 seconds is all it took!
If you choose the types of events that actually interest you, you’re helping yourself out straight away. You’ll be heading to events filled with people who share a common interest.
You know what common interest means? Seamless conversation. Endless, relevant talking points.
The type of event you choose is completely up to you. How it helps is by surrounding you with a wide range of potential suitors. Like-minded people who are at a fun event, enjoying the experience in a social situation.
Starting a conversation somewhere like this is easy because you have so much relevant context. If you’re watching a live performance, it can be as simple as directing some kind of comment toward them about the performer.
Once again, there’s no magic to it. You’ve already put yourself in a great place to meet the right people. All you need now is to start a conversation.
Cooking or art classes
Want to earn or work on a new skill while you’re getting to know new people? This is where cooking or art classes come in. They can get way more rowdy than you might think and are usually a very relaxed environment.
Most people are there working on something they aren’t too great at yet. This usually leads to people laughing at themselves, having a great time and interacting with those around them. An art class, for example, is rarely a bunch of people sitting there intently focused on some polished masterpiece.
Since a lot of them makes socializing even easier. What’s the worst that can happen, you become a better artist or cook? That doesn’t sound like the worst tradeoff to me!
Join a local club or sporting team
Last but certainly not least, do some research around your area and look for a mixed club or team. Although the teamwork aspect of a sporting team will help, it doesn’t have to be a physical activity.
You could even go learn a new language in a classroom setting and join a social club for that language. Now you’re learning a new skill with a bunch of new people and seeing them on a regular basis.
Once again, you’re all there to work on a new skill as well. Learning a new language is difficult and you have to learn to laugh at yourself and your mistakes along the way.
A good sense of humour in any team or club environment is going to help you so much. People will enjoy your company and you’ll find it so easy to meet and get along with them.
Between these seven options, I guarantee you can make at least one of them work for you. Hell, even if you don’t want to go outside, you can set up an online dating profile!
Just remember to go into it with the right mindset and to enjoy what you’re doing. If you start to think of these places as an in-person version of Tinder, you’ll come across creepy, needy or both. You’re also setting yourself up for disappointment.
It will take some time to find the right person, so patience is super important. If you’re new to it you might also need a little practice recognizing when someone is into you! Just remember, the more people you get to know, the broader the range of people you’re going to meet.
This is meant to be a fun experience and there’s no deadline. Get out there and enjoy yourself!