One of the life’s most difficult emotional situations is being in an argument. Whether with someone you love or don’t even know, conflict can increase anxiety and blood pressure, if not your sense of discomfort. Some people go to great lengths to avoid conflict of any kind, while others seem ready to argue at a moment’s notice. If you’re somewhere in between as most people are, you may prefer not to argue, but are prepared to do so when necessary. The question then becomes how to make the argument go your way. Here are few ways which will help you in winning arguments:
8. Know Your Facts:
At times, inevitably someone challenges you, but because you don’t want to lose you continue to stick to your points. This is not an ideal way to win or enter an argument. In the TV show Psych, the lead character often says when challenged unconvincingly, “I’ve heard it both ways.” Stop and think before you make such bloopers yourself, and you’ll be less likely to lose, whether the matter is trivia or a truly important career or relationship challenge.
7. Be Ready To See The Other Person’s Perspective:
You don’t have to agree with a foe in order to see his or her perspective. However, if you want to win an argument, you do need to be able to see the world the way your opponent does. Stepping into the mental set of those you argue with allows you to figure out what’s influencing them. Perhaps they’re feeling threatened, anxious, or annoyed. Perhaps they know something that you don’t. In any case, showing empathy will lower the temperature of the debate and allow both of you to come to resolution.
6. Try To Remain Open Minded:
Becoming defensive is one of the worst ways to win an argument. If you appear to be giving the other side’s position a thoughtful review, then the solution you propose will seem to be far more sensible. Furthermore, your opponent may come to your side without your having to do anything other than listen. By letting your opponent speak, you may allow the situation to naturally resolve itself.
5. Keep Your Emotions Under Control:
Emotions play an important role in conflict by altering how you handle the situation. If you lose your temper, you’ll only antagonize your opponent, which will further heighten his or her anger, and the process can only escalate upwards. Don’t worry that you’ll seem weak by becoming calm in the midst of an argument. You’ll gain points by showing that you can exercise self control. Who knows, the argument may even end right then and there, once both of you take a more reasoned perspective.
4. Remain Hopeful That The Argument Can Be Resolved:
Arguments, by definition involve negative emotions. In the midst of screaming, it might be hard to see yourself coming out on the other side with your dignity intact. However, invoking the feeling of hope allows you to think more clearly, leading to the possibility that you’ll win by sheer force of logic. This is what happens in ordinary problem solving when thinking outside of the box can help all sides come up with a solution.
3. Respect Your Opponent:
Many arguments have no clear victors. You may get your way, but your relationship or situation is at stake a lot of times. A successful argument within a relationship remains separate. Don’t let it lead to questioning the entire basis of the relationship. By the same token, don’t insult or degrade your opponent. Even if the individual is someone you’ll never see again, it’s still important to show that you meant nothing personal in the dispute.
2. Look At It As A Conversation:
Instead of going into an argument with your full energy on fighting or thinking this is an argument remind yourself it’s just a conversation. Go back to the concept of talking with someone rather than talking to someone. It will bring a subtle but big difference. And it can help keep the other person cool, which pretty much always means that you’re winning argument.
1. Try To Be More Persuasive:
During an argument, think like a salesperson and try to be as persuasive as possible. “Salespeople, speakers, and teachers have known that facts don’t persuade, emotion does,” says Elliot. To pull on the other person’s heart strings, toss in some imagery or relate the story back to them. Hopefully they’ll calm down and see things your way and then you will learn the art of winning arguments.