Humans were not designed to be solitary creatures. We evolved to survive in tribes, the need to interact is deeply ingrained in our genetic code. Friends who are loyal, reliable, interesting companions are good for you but they can also be bad for you.We are social animals and need to feel that we belong to others and feel connected to one another. We all know through social network research that if you have depressed friends then more likely you’ll be depressed, friends who smoke or drink a lot make it more likely you’ll start smoking and drinking. Friends are blessing from God as they are the ones with whom a person shares his comfort , happiness and sorrows. Friends are no doubt an integral part of human life but making right amount of friends who are actually worth it is important. But like every blessing comes with some curse making a lot of friends can make one lonely also in the following ways
8. Connections Limited To Social Media Only:
Being hyper social and making new friends to fill a void comes from the fact that those connections are actually empty. This is due to how simple it is to connect with new people. Any time you open an app like Facebook or SnapChat you’re making connections with people. They could be long-time friends, acquaintances or even strangers, but the attention makes the line blur between true companion and internet stranger. A person can have thousands of friends on Facebook but only truly know 10 of them hardly. The high number doesn’t mean loneliness is an impossibility.
7. Soul Connection:
Try to connect with only those few with whom you can share your mind with. The goal is to build real relationships on a solid foundation. If you were in love with a diamond bracelet but you couldn’t afford it, wouldn’t it be better to do without than to waste money on a cheap knock off that turned your wrist green? Knock off friends are no different. It’s also important to note that friendship and connections with people should be done for you and your happiness, not to impress others or seem popular. Someone can be physically with a lot of people but still feel lonely. It doesn’t matter how many people are impressed by your friend group, if you don’t consider any of those people real friends, you’ve accomplished nothing.
“The absence of social connection triggers the same, primal alarm bells as hunger, thirst and physical pain.” JOHN CACIOPPO
6. Friends As A Result Of Loneliness:
When you make new friends because of loneliness that’s where you’re on mistake and this is generally called promiscuity. While this word is typically associated with dating a lot or being intimate very casually, the alternate definition is more about being indiscriminate or casual when it comes to who you surround yourself with. Sure, it can feel good to connect with a lot of people, but new connections don’t always lead to strong relationships. All of us have heard this: The more shallow relationships you build, the more lonely you feel.
5. Physical Company And Loneliness:
Feeling alone is not the same as truly being alone. Like in a family gathering, a handful of relatives are sitting at the table with others, but they are scrolling through Facebook on their phone or texting people who are not present. None of the people in this scenario are truly alone, but they do create loneliness. Through being more interested in their phone than physical company, they miss out on true human connection through company. One more example of this are the patients in the hospitals. While these ill people are quite literally surrounded with support, they often feel lonely and forgotten if their relatives do not stop by frequently. Any type of separation, be it literal or emotional makes us and even animals feel very alone and cut off.
4. Not Every Person You Meet Is Your Friend:
We meet so many people in our life on daily basis. There are so many of us who are very friendly and there nature is in such a way that they get attach to people very easily. And it’s not necessary that the person whom we consider our buddy or feel attached to will feel the same way. We start getting our expectations way too high when we meet people that when people aren’t able to fulfill them we feel apart. But here the important thing is that it’s not the other people who are at mistake , we are the one who’s on wrong track. And then we realize every person we meet isn’t going to be our friend. But till that realization we are with the people whom we keep calling as friends and getting hurt and feeling alone eventually.
3. Lack Of Loyalty And Sincerity:
In today’s World loyalty and sincerity, these both words have forgotten their meaning. Everyone here is just trying to take out his meaning from others. There are a lot of people who get attached to you for the sake of their own work. And when there work is done they just leave you and at that point you get to see their true colours. From outside you are very glad with the thought you have made so many friends but what you should keep in mind is who deserves to be friend. You need to know whether this person will be loyal to me or not. And the ones who aren’t able to get this end up feeling lonely despite of having so many friends.
2. You Need Quality Relationships, Not Higher Quantity:
Feeling alone or empty relates to the quality of relationships, not the quantity.
As Marie Hartwell-Walker points out in her article, The Roots of Loneliness, you need to keep your expectations of others realistic, saying, “When their new friend can’t be friends on the terms they want, they feel burned yet again, may get depressed, and decide it isn’t worth it to try.”
1. Keep Focus On Right Track:
It’s important to keep yourself open and focus on the here and now of your life because ultimately, it’s all about possibility you know. One of the best way to get rid of this feeling of being alone is to have a hobby like reading books or just work on whatever grabs your interest. Put effort into doing what you love and eventually it will get you to connect with like mind people who share the same interest as yours. And you won’t feel alone ever again.
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Article By: Born Realist