The belief that the value of things is determined by comparing them to their likes, on the one hand, has obvious reasons. The comparison makes it possible to see the pros and cons of the situation. However, on the other hand, we are getting used to destructive thinking, in which we lose the opportunity to see things in their unique aesthetics. Unfortunately, this applies not only to things but also us. We are always compared: the best and worst student/employee/lover, beautiful and ugly, successful and a screw-up. And over time, we begin to label ourselves; we become dependent on the opinions of others. However, comparing yourself to others is not only stupid but also pointless. Let’s sort things out.
1. There are no two identical people with the same experience
This obvious circumstance makes any comparison untenable. Even twins have differences. And, if the external ones are not so obvious, then the internal ones will inevitably manifest themselves in communication. Not to mention other people. We are born with a different background; we grow up in a different environment, have different physical and psychological characteristics, and we get different experiences during life. Therefore, to expect the same success in the same business is ridiculous. Someone has the talent to make money, while another person, being not that rich, has the talent to be the life of the party and is literally showered with love, being involved in dating Australian women. Which one is more successful and happier? How can you measure that?
2. Dependence on the opinions and successes of others becomes a bad habit
A person who has decided to be the best in any business is always in suspense. They monitor competitors all the time as well as constantly analyze what others think of them. And it doesn’t matter whether it’s about the bosses of large corporations or their ex-classmates. You lose your own
value in your own eyes. Continuing to compare yourself with others, you become insecure and doubting; you are constantly looking for confirmation of your viability according to certain criteria. Thus, the quality of life begins to seriously suffer, and happiness, or at least satisfaction, becomes something unrealistic. The fear of shame and condemnation begins to break yourself from within. This bad habit takes root, and it becomes more difficult to get rid of it over the years.
3. Comparison takes you away from true desires
If you want a car of a more prestigious brand than your friend has, then all your thoughts, goals, and aspirations will be focused on how to purchase such a car. However, being under the influence of comparison, you hardly ask yourself the reasonable question of whether you need this car at all. Nonetheless, you will spend your energy, your strength, and your life on purchasing of what you do not need because your true needs and dreams will be drowned out by the voice of comparison. As a result, even having achieved your goal, you risk remaining unhappy person.
4. You are filled with destructive thoughts and feelings
Of course, envy will be the first thing in the charts of these feelings. Having met the one who is better than you, you will be angry, indignant, and may even wish this person trouble. At the same time, the object of your envy can be a good person who doesn’t deserve anything bad. People who are too dependent on social status not only continue to compare themselves with others but also move into actions to hurt their opponent. As a result, your relations with others deteriorate, and you can be left alone with your discontent and feeling that eats away at you.
5. Comparison is a race in which you will not win
This is perhaps the saddest fact for those who are used to living with an eye on others. If you compare yourself and worry about your perfection, be ready that it will never stop. There will be always someone younger and more beautiful, wealthier or slender, etc. Even high scores do not last long. When you reach the top, it’s good if you can enjoy the triumph for a moment before finding out that someone will surpass the result and become better than you quite soon.
6. Comparison is disappointing
The result of the comparison will be almost always disappointing. Indeed, that’s the way things are, and negative thoughts are always stronger than positive ones. We are more likely to focus on the fact that we fall behind someone in terms of success and finances, rather than concentrating on our advantages and talents. It is great if you come to understand the meaninglessness and falsity of your aspirations to be the best among others. You can miss a lot of great things because of that. And the first step on the way to happiness is to fall in love with yourself since you are a unique and very special person.
How to Fall in Love with Yourself and Become Happy Forever
We live in a world that requires a lot of our time and energy. Our lifestyle can quickly lead to negative perceptions of life and affect how we treat our true personalities. For many people, it is extremely difficult to love themselves. However, some ways can help you learn to enjoy who you are.
1. Accept yourself
You are unique, and no one else can be like you. Many people completely forget about it for some reasons. Of course, it’s easier to just compare yourself with others instead of trying to love yourself. People who love themselves as individuals accept themselves for who they are with all their drawbacks. You should try to do the same. Stop comparing since you are unique in your own way.
2. Take care of yourself
Our busy life often becomes the reason for giving up many pleasures. In fact, it can be detrimental to mental health. It is important to love and support yourself in everything that pleases you. For example, if you have limited free time, use it to the fullest. If you like to read, then read during breaks at work. If you like to take a hot bath, take it late in the evening when everyone goes to bed. Be creative even in such banal things!
3. Go in for sports
Most of us know that workouts are good for the physical body, but are you aware that they can also significantly improve mental health? It’s true. Exercises increase the level of hormones of happiness, and you surely need them to love yourself. The increased level of these hormones makes you feel better physically and mentally. If you don’t have enough time or money to go to the gym, work out at home, or go jogging. Combine. You can go in for sports while walking with your child or during breaks at work.
4. Do not follow a strict schedule
You should learn to enjoy your life right at this moment. You can do that. Do not worry about things that you wanted to do but did not have time. Focus on things that are of great importance to you at this moment and do it. Try to learn the main aspects of time-management and stop being constantly in a hurry.
Another great way to relieve stress and love yourself is to meditate or start practicing yoga. Enjoy peace and quiet for several minutes every day. This will greatly improve your mental health and allow you to become a calmer and well-adjusted person. You will become more confident, stable and will better understand yourself.
6. Be thankful
It is easy to become a hostage to negative thoughts about what you want and what you don’t want to do in life. Instead of focusing on what you don’t have, think about what you have and thank your life for that. Love your life as it is. Appreciate the little things in it that many people take for granted. It’s important to understand that sometimes life can be hard, but it can be much more difficult without what you have now.
7. Love yourself
If you want to love yourself, this does not mean that you should selfishly spend time and money only on yourself. No. This means that the better you feel, the more actively you can take care of others. Understand who you are now and what you can become in the future.