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Our mind is a mystery. It works the way we use it. It believes on what we show it but not all the times some brains are remarkable. It can create Einstein and Steve Jobs if we make our brains believe that. It can possibly achieve everything we think or imagine. That’s why dreams are so powerful; that’s the reason we create wonders and change lives. If we are lucky enough, creative enough, to use our brains to the full potential then we won’t need any reason to fail in our lives. There are times in our lives when we make some very bad decisions and some very good decisions and they prove to be a turning point in our lives. They change us forever. What basically is a weak brain? It is an untrained brain, a mind which believes on sitting quietly in the boat rather than sailing away when a giant shark attacks.

1. Fear:

Our brain functions in a way that when it senses danger, it will make us stay away from it at any cost. Let me explain it with an example, you are getting ready for a birthday party and in the last minute a lot of doubts rush in to your mind. What if my dress looks weird? What if Bella were there or John shows up with his new girlfriend? What if I go there early and no one is there? What if I reach there late? What if I don’t go? That would solve all the problems. That’s good, I won’t go. But if you have a strong and confident mind, then conversation to yourself would totally be opposite. What if Bella is expecting you at the party? What if john is there but only to see you? O man! That dress on you looks so perfect. You can clearly see the difference here. You must know that self-doubt and that fear of not doing anything new is making you weak and dull day by day.

2. Jealousy:

When we see others being appreciated and successful around us, it bothers us. This is also a sign of a weak mind. It’s like expecting that if I am not walking, others should not even try to walk. So, if someone’s success and prosperity gives us negative thoughts and we suddenly start hating them, we should work on ourselves. Sometimes people don’t even realize that they are jealous of others but if you feel the way we discussed, you definitely are jealous and that’s a bad sign for your own growth and self-worth.

3. Self Doubt:

They never trust on their ability and capabilities. They always give less value to themselves. They always hide at the backstage when the play of their talents begins. They always have their negative selves talking to themselves telling them, you won’t be able to speak in front of so many people, you will fail in the exams, and you won’t survive this tragedy of your live. You have nothing to fight, you are not enough. The list goes on.

4. Not Trying:

They give up without even trying again when they fail to achieve something on the first attempt. They don’t believe in fighting back.

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5. Always in a hurry:

They are always in a hurry .They lack the ability to be patient in certain situations. They want to win the race even before it begins. It’s like someone wants to play the final in the Olympics without being ready to play to knockout rounds. So, they give up even before the competition starts.

6. The blame game:

They are angry all the time and with all the people. When they don’t achieve what they desire, they start the blame game. “The examiner wasn’t fair”, “The questions were out of course”, “The interviewer was biased”, “I didn’t have enough time to prepare”, and “I had a fight last night with my wife or husband or parents so I was not mentally focused”. These are all excuses that your brain gives you and you accept them because you were not dedicated enough to your goals and need a safe way towards the exit.

7. Leg pulling:

When you can’t achieve your goals due to your weaknesses, you want others to fail too. You trick yourself by saying, if I can’t have it. no one will. So, instead of using your energy on focusing your goals, you waste all of your powers and energies focusing on their lives. You have to understand that fact that in this case, they will never fail because they are going closer to their goals and you, on the other hand, are moving away from your goals day by day. This is only gonna destroy you.

8. Hard work:

Hard work is a skill of persistent and consistent nature. When you keep on working on your dreams and goals without even worrying about the results and failures, only then you would say that I am working hard and dedicated but if you work less and dream more, this won’t help and you would end up living in a fantasy land. Dreaming about your good future and amazing life is not bad but you need you wake up and work on it too, to change your dream into reality. Dream gives you direction but it’s YOU who has to stand up and walk towards it.

9. How to cope with that:

Having a weak brain is not a problem; not realizing that you have a weak brain is a problem. If you don’t trust in your abilitie , if looking at mirror makes your face ugly and dress unsuitable, if your friend’s promotion or top position makes you hate him/her, if you don’t help your subordinates and colleagues in moving forward instead you are an obstacle for them, if you blame everyone but yourself for anything bad that happens to you, if you don’t believe in trying again and if you don’t believe in giving your honest time to the milestones you want to achieve, then my friend you are mentally weak. But it’s not an issue as long as you want to work on it.

Here are some tips for you:

1) Invite that friend for a dinner or lunch who got highest marks from you or is recently promoted.

2) From now on, looking at the mirror should remind you that you are awesome.

3) If you fail at something, analyse the whole situation, recognize your mistakes and correct yourself instead of feeling bad and guilty all the time.

4) Start working again instead of going into depression; fill all the gaps you left last time.

5) Don’t blame others for your mistakes and failures; work on yourself and your personal growth.

These are not impossible; believe me you can train your brain the way you want to. It all depends on you and your will. If you think you have all these habits then congratulations you just took the first step, you admit it, now the second step is to work on your weakness and be an incredibly strong person. Let us know if it helped.

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Article by Born Realist 



Born Realist Lifestyle

Here’s Why You Shouldn’t Be Someone’s Second Choice

It’s not difficult for someone to feel worthless if they’ve been treated as second option quite a few times. It’s more like weaved into your routine, you never know when this horrible cycle would end. People keep on telling you to focus on yourself instead of focusing on being in a relationship but each and every time you end up getting badly hurt. It’s okay to be the supporting character instead of the main character sometimes. But the constant support role and not being the led can be really bad for your self-esteem. No matter how hard you try you always end up being the second option, due to your weird luck. Guys treat you more as a rebound girl or a second option for in case their first option won’t work out. They see you as only the one to be with for a while instead of lifetime. The thing is that you might think it’s okay to be the second option as it is better than having nothing. You have to know that you are not worth being treated as the second option, you deserve to be the leading lady and there’s no way in hell that you should settle as a second option.

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It’s anything but difficult to become involved with something since you need to be loved and cared for; we’re just human and being helpless is something that’s in our nature, we just want to be loved by someone and it can make us hurt our own self-esteem. In any case, there has to be a time when you stop thinking that it’s okay to be a rebound for someone or be their second choice, or not the number being one in anybody’s book. It’s not beneficial when you begin to feel like you can’t satisfy their desires, and it’s that it is alright to be sufficiently “great” for somebody. In any case, that is insane. In the distance, you are not sufficiently “great” – you are all that anyone could need. You deserve the stars and the moon, you deserve all the attention and priority, somebody is holding up to meet you and succumb to you on great, long-term terms. Don’t break yourself away and waste your worth on someone who doesn’t see all the things that you are. Wait for the one who would make you his priority, make your wishes his command, who would not think of his life without you and for whom everything else comes second to you. Just don’t waste yourself away. Kindly don’t be somebody’s second decision, don’t be with someone who priorities everything over you. You will never be able to see how amazing and wonderful you are if you constantly be okay with a second option treatment. You will see yourself through the eyes of this individual who is just passing time with you, who is upsetting your feelings and making you lose your self-worth totally. Your other half should be somebody who draws out the best in you. Why in the world would you need to be encompassed by a shallow individual who is loaded with antagonism and all the wrong expectations? Who needs to be related to somebody who had vain thinking behind everything? Just ask yourself why would you be okay with being in such a relationship. It definitely is better to be alone than being with someone who cannot see you for who you are.

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I repeat, again and again, don’t be someone’s second option, since you are excellent and matter just as much as any other girl would There is somebody who might be listening for everybody on the planet, and I will dependably differ with the people who say they will be separated from everyone else everlastingly or that they will never discover somebody, making them settle on being the second decision. I know the feeling of being alone is big enough to scare you and settle for less. It will be justified, despite all the trouble. It would be ideal if you comprehend that there is more out there than where you at present remain. Try not to be somebody’s second decision since it is an exercise in futility and exercise for somebody who eventually doesn’t even really think about you. Trust me it’s not as scary as it sounds, you can be out there on your own, meeting new individuals, and might even find the one who would love you and adore you just like you deserve. The sky is the limit. Be that as it may, kindly don’t squander your opportunity on individuals you know are nothing but trouble. Time is valuable and you just have such a large amount of it, so attempt to influence the most to out of it and escape those shallow people who don’t see you for who you are and just use you for their own selfish reasons

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Don’t be a second option for anyone, you have so much to offer, you can do so much more, be with someone worth being with. You’re capable, keen, amazing, and genius. There is no one like you out there, and it’s awful simply realizing that you would just be okay with settling for so much less than you deserve. You are a decent individual who deserves all the happiness and love, and you should not place yourself in these unfair circumstances. I feel that a standout amongst the essential things in this life is to begin able to look all starry eyed at ourselves in the first place, and afterward discover somebody who reminds us every day about how stunning we are, simply because that guy is the cool and who we cherish or have a crush on. Try not to stick around for somebody who endures you for the wrong reasons, who isn’t actually present there mentally and don’t really love you and adore you for who you are, or doesn’t value your amazing personality and uniqueness.

Article by Born Realist



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Born Realist Lifestyle

Here Are 20 Tips To Be Alive, Not Just Exist

Sometimes it feels like you have everything yet there is something missing in your life, a spark. The daily routine can become dull real fast but these tips will help you feel  alive a little bit at a time:

1. Appreciate what you have:

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It is easy to get stuck in the wheel of life and lose perspective of all your blessings. Sometimes all you need is to take a step back and focus on everything good in your life and appreciate that.

2. Find the optimism:

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Your brain will focus on what you train it to focus on. So when in a situation, try to see the positive aspects of things rather than focusing on the negative and doing this intentionally at first will automatically trigger your brain into blurring out the negative.

3. Have a day of smiling:

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Smiling intentionally triggers your brain into releasing happy chemicals (dopamine) into your body. So when having a bad day try to smile at people, your co-workers or anyone really, this is guaranteed to make you feel better.

4. Eat something new:

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If you eat the same thing for lunch every day, ditch that. Try something new or eat something you really like.

5. Listen to something new:

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One of the simplest ways to change your boring routine is to listen to something new. If your music taste is narrow, venture into other genres, other artists and who knows you may find your new obsession.

6. Slow down:

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When everything seems fast-paced around you, slow down. Take a moment to take it all in, enjoy it rather than rushing through it.

7. Be your own best friend:

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Be your own cheerleader. when you fail or stumble, instead of beating yourself over it react to it how you would react if it was your friend who was struggling. Be a little selfish if you have to but do what is right for you.

8. Enjoy the small things:

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There are very few big achievements during the course of one’s life. We must learn to appreciate the small things as they make up the majority of our experiences.

9. Forgive:

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To truly move on from something you ought to forgive the person who did you wrong. It does not matter if the other person is sorry or not, you need to forgive them for the peace of your own mind.

10. Disconnect:

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The internet and social media although have opened a land of opportunities, sometimes they can take a toll on one’s mind. If you feel overwhelmed by so much information it is best to disconnect for a while. Delete apps from your phone and try to fill up your time with some other activity you might enjoy.

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11. Feel the pain:

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Pain is inevitable. Suffering is an unavoidable human experience, however, how you respond to suffering is up to you. If you keep denying your emotions or bottle up your feelings, they will only come out in worse forms later so in order for you to be not dragged down by it, it is important you feel the pain and process it in healthy ways.

12. Breathe:

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Literally. For a few minutes, every day just sit in a quiet corner, free of any distractions and focus on inhaling and exhaling. Take in deep breaths and visualize the air entering and leaving your lungs. This will calm your mind and body.

13. Exercise:

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You only get one body in a lifetime, so take care of it. Do something physically active every day even if it is for a few minutes. Go for a walk, take the stairs instead of the elevator, anything will do.

14. Find your passion:

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Spend some time on self-exploration. Discover what makes you excited and free out some time for that.

15. Let go of filler-activities:

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In order to make time for what is really important to you, you have to let go some things that you are not so enthusiastic about.

16. Travel:

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Nothing expands your perspective on life like meeting new people and hearing their stories. So travel whenever you get an opportunity.

17. Do something daring:

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Ask your crush out on a date, share your writings with your friends, anything that requires courage to do.

18. Let go when you have no other way forward:

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Know when it is time to mend things and when things have surpassed the ability to become better and the only thing left to do is leave them, whether is a job or a relationship.

19. Surround yourself with sincere people:

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The kind of people you surround yourself with has a huge impact on your emotional well being so be careful about who you give importance to.

20. Make someone’s day:

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Sometimes the best way to make yourself feel better is by making someone else feel better. It could be a small gesture like a note or a flower but their smile will be big enough to make you feel alive. Some things work better for some than others, so through trial and error find out what makes you feel the best and keep doing that.

Article by BornRealist 

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Life hacks

Here Are 12 Books On Science Everyone Should Read, According To Bill Gates

Bill Gates has made huge contributions to modern technology. He is a philanthropist and his efforts are focused on fighting disease and climate change. He has a deep love for science and has endorsed a number of science related books which range from books explaining everyday science to books tackling the big questions regarding existence and origin. Here is a list of books he recommends everyone interested in science should read:

1. Thing Explainer: Complicated Stuff in Simple Words by Randall Munroe

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Randall Munroe also the creator of the webcomics published this book in 2015. The books contain simple explanations of modern technology, which can be understood by even the most simple-minded. Gates described the book as a ‘brilliant concept’. He mentioned his favorite explanations is why microwaves, addressed as ‘radio boxes’ in the book, heat frozen food unevenly:

 “When you put iced food in a radio box, after a while, parts of it start to turn to water. But since radio boxes are really good at heating water, those parts start to get hot really fast. They can even get so hot they start turning to air—before all the ice is even gone!”

2. The Gene: An Intimate History by Siddhartha Mukherjee

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Genome science is a relatively budding field and is one of the less talked about fields in the mainstream conversation. But this book according to Gates reinforces its relevance to our daily lives. He touches upon the big questions regarding human existence and essence. Gates said regarding the book:

“Mukherjee wrote this book for a lay audience, because he knows that the new genome technologies are at the cusp of affecting us all in profound ways,”

He describes Mukherjee as a ‘quadruple threat’, well suited for his credentials as a practicing physician, teacher, researcher, and author.

3. The Grid: The Fraying Wires Between Americans and Our Energy Future by Gretchen Bakke

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Describing this book back in 2016, Gates said: “This book, about our aging electrical grid, fits in one of my favorite genres: ‘Books About Mundane Stuff That Are Actually Fascinating.”It seems to capture his fancy for perhaps the reason that his job was working for a power company that provided power to the Pacific North West as a software engineer. His appreciation for the vitality of power grids stems from there and ‘The Grid’ provides insight into those engineering masterpieces.

4. Seveneves by Neal Stephenson

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After a long time of around a decade Gates picked up a science fiction book upon a recommendation from his friend. The book immediately jumps into the story as he wrote: “The plot gets going in the first sentence when the moon blows up.” The story progresses to a threat of a meteor shower that has the potential to destroy the entire planet so human beings are left to salvage themselves by sending as many spacecraft into the orbit as possible.  The book is filled with information about spaceflight but Gates said he ‘loved the technical details.’

5. The Fever: How Malaria Has Ruled Humankind for 500,000 Years by Sonia Shah

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Fighting Malaria, a disease which claims 430 000 lives per year, has been one of Gates’ foundation’s top priorities. He has talked about the issue on several platforms, Ted Talks being one of them. He endorses the book as ‘probably the best choice’ if one were to read a book on the subject matter. Gates said in 2014 referring to the book:

The book was published in 2010, so it’s not totally up to date (most notably, we’ve made progress with rolling out bed nets since then) but it’s a great overview of malaria, its impact, and the solutions to it.

6. Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind by Yuval Noah Harari

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In the history of the Earth, homo sapiens appear relatively quite late but they’re the species that managed to survive the longest. How come out of all the species that resembled human beings as we know them, homo sapiens are the only ones that have lasted until today? Gates said regarding the book:

“Both Melinda and I read this one and it has sparked lots of great conversations at our dinner table. Harari takes on a daunting challenge: to tell the entire history of the human race in just 400 pages.”

However, Harrari not only tells the history of the human race but he provides an insight into how genetic engineering and artificial intelligence will change the meaning of being human in the future. Gates recommends this book to anyone who has ever wondered about the history of the human race as well as the future.

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7. Homo Deus by Yuval Noah Harari

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Another one of Harari’s works is a part of Gates’ reading list. Homo Deus is a sort of sequel to the book ‘Sapiens’ as it discusses what might become of the human race in the future, as they evolve. Gates said referring to the book:

“So far, the things that have shaped society — what we measure ourselves by — have been either religious rules about how to live a good life, or more earthly goals like getting rid of sickness, hunger, and war. What would the world be like if we actually achieved those things?”

8. Infections and Inequalities: The Modern Plagues by Paul Farmer

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Gates called Paul Farmer as “one of the most impressive people I’ve had the honor of getting to know.” Farmer has played a vital role in bringing sustainable health care to millions of people in Haiti. The book though published fifteen years ago still made this list because it educates the masses about how diseases like AIDS, Tuberculosis, and Malaria affects the marginalized communities in much worse ways due to the lack access to vaccinations and proper health care. Gates said:

“In this book he really opens your eyes to the vast differences between the health of the rich and the health of the poor,”

9. House on Fire: The Fight to Eradicate Smallpox by Bill Foege

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Foege had made huge contributions to the cause of eradication of Smallpox in the 1970’s. Gates mentioned him as being their mentor when they were venturing out towards philanthropy. House on Fire discusses how the eradication began, stories of people who were affected by the disease as well as Foege’s personal life and his career as an epidemiologist. In gates words:

“This book gives you a great view from the front lines of that battle.”

10. Sustainable Materials With Both Eyes Open (Without the Hot Air) by Julian Allwood and Jonathan Cullen

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After the Paris climate summit in 2015 Gates included this book in the list as being one of the rare books that talk about the manufacturing of stuff. The book addresses one of the most important and urgent questions regarding our future: “How can we meet the growing demand for materials without destroying the environment?” The book contains descriptions and diagrams about how we can increase the shelf of everyday objects by using materials that have a lesser environmental impact. According to Gates:

“We can’t go on using materials the way we have been for the past 150 years but fortunately, we don’t have to.”

11. The Vital Question by Nick Lane

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Not many know about Nick but that needs to be changed. Gates said: “Nick is one of those original thinkers who make you say: More people should know about this guy’s work. He is trying to right a scientific wrong by getting people to fully appreciate the role that energy plays in all living things.” The book addresses unanswered questions about the origin of life. Gates putting his confidence in Nick’s work said:

“Even if the details of Nick’s work turn out to be wrong, I suspect his focus on energy will be seen as an important contribution to our understanding of where we come from.”

12. Energy and Civilization: A History by Vaclav Smil

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These books offer complete knowledge about their given subjects and are a great way for one to learn about things that are around us and affect our lives in one way or another.

Article by BornRealist 

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