12 Signs Of a Decent Man That You’ll Not See In a Narcissist

There is something unbelievably thrilling about a man who stays for a while and leaves on the whirlwind he came on after whisking you away for a remarkably amazing romance. But the experience is usually expensive and leaves your heart in a million pieces because the purpose of his brief intervention in your life was never for your sake it was for his sake and his only. I believe that there comes a time in every woman’s life when she’s had enough of Narcissists, no matter how appealing they may be and simply wants a decent man who cares and understands.

image credits: iStock

Stephen Labossiere has the experience of not being able to distinguish between a good guy and bad guy summed up very nicely in his quote;

 “There are plenty of good men and women around. But unfortunately, people have become so jaded by the pain they have experienced that they can not recognize when they are looking at the right one.”

So to help you along we’ve penned down the 12 markers of a decent man that you won’t find in a narcissist.

12. He is gentle and considerate:

image credits: iStock

All gentlemen have a kind and considerate aura around them, if the man you’ve found is decent and worth the while he’ll be considerate of your feeling and will try to be gentle in the worst of times. While a narcissist will be harsh and brash.

11. He is committed to you:

image credits: iStock

A good honest man always wants to please his girl and will always want to stay loyal to her just like she is. He will try his best to come up to your level and will do his best to make you happy. A narcissist will only care about his wants and needs.

10. He looks out for you:

image credits: iStock

A decent man will want to protect you from harm and will always be around to keep you safe even when you don’t need his help. A narcissistic man only cares about himself and will never be around to look out for you.

9. He stands behind you:

image credits: iStock

Whenever you need support your decent man will always be available to provide it, he’ll look after you and will support you as you chase your big dreams and work towards a better future for yourself. This kind of behavior cannot be expected from a narcissist.

8. When you have something to say he listens:

image credits: iStock

Narcissists have the idea that the world revolves around them and that they are the only people with something significant to say. So, when you try talking to a narcissist, chances are that he won’t listen and will probably become offended when you have an opinion of your own. But if you find a good decent man, he will enjoy listening to you just as much as you like listening to him, he will give you the same importance and equality you’ve always desired in a relationship.

7. He won’t pour out his negative emotions on you:

image credits: iStock

When a narcissist gets angry, chances are the person he’ll want to vent on will be you, Narcissists have a problem called “object constancy” meaning that they can’t have positive thoughts or opinions about a person or themselves when they are hurt or angry. But a good decent man will not have that problem, he won’t vent his anger on you and even during a fight, he will not forget that he loves you and cares about you deeply.

6. He won’t be vain:

image credits: iStock

A narcissist is incredibly vain, meaning that he won’t miss an opportunity to be boastful and won’t mind undermining you in the process and hurting your feelings as well. People like that strive for weakness and usually go for women who are ready to boost their testosterone. The same goes for a narcissistic woman as well, she likes being praised as well and similarly does not mind hurting anyone in the process of making herself look good. But a decent man is usually quite the opposite. Good men can be boastful at times, but they know when to tone it down and are well aware of your feelings and opinions.

5. He’s supportive:

image credits: iStock

Even if you and your man don’t see eye to eye, a decent man will always have your back and will support you through whatever you’re going through, he’ll be mindful of your feelings and will want to be around to help you when you need him. While a narcissist will be the opposite of supportive, he doesn’t have time to listen to you, and to him, your problems aren’t problems at all. The only thing that matters in the world is him.

4. He owns up to his mistakes:

image credits: iStock

A narcissist doesn’t care enough to admit that he’s trampled over your feelings or has made a serious error or mistake. He’ll simply go one as he is and won’t care enough to ask you what’s wrong. If the mistake he’s made is too big for you to overlook and you confront him, he will either blow up or will pack up and leave without giving you a second glance back, he might even leave a parting comment that can be something along the lines off, “If you don’t like me as I am you can find someone else.” But a decent man won’t act so selfishly, he’ll be kind and gentle and even if he’s difficult and reserved he’ll own up to his mistakes and will try to make things better between the two of you.

3. He’ll bring you up instead of putting you down:

image credits: iStock

If you go to a narcissist when your feeling terrible about yourself your self-esteem will be battered until you have nothing left inside of you expect a hollow heart. But a decent man won’t do that, he will lift you up and will try to make you feel better about yourself.

2. When the world comes down he’ll try to be your shelter:

image credits: iStock

A decent man isn’t a superhero and he can’t save you from imminent disaster or bad luck, but that doesn’t mean he won’t try or he won’t stand up with you. A narcissist, of course, will leave you as soon as he senses that you’re in a bad place, he’ll blot out of your life and probably won’t look back but a good man will stand his ground.

1. He will help you love yourself:

image credits: iStock

If you’re down a decent man will raise you up and will show you what he sees in you, and will try to make sure that you love yourself like he has come to love you. But a narcissist will do no such thing, in fact, the more helpless you are and the more insecure the happier he will be. A narcissist feeds on negative self-images that you have of yourself because they allow him to project himself taller than he is. Making him seem all the more special in your eyes because you feel bad about yourself.

Conclusion:

image credits: iStock

So if you have a narcissist who keeps texting you or a man playing narcissists tricks on you? Then it’s time you let him go and move on from him and open your mind to finding someone kinder and decent for you. There are after all plenty of decent people out there, you don’t need to settle anyone less than amazing.

Article by Born Realist